Is it just me, or does this sound like the title of an atrocious 1970s Australian erotic film? Admittedly I’ve never heard a bloke describe their wedding tackle as any kind of marsupial. Is this a failure of the national imagination? Possibly.
Anyway, the “sacred garden” is not as lewd as it sounds – it’s the name our eight year old has given the veggie patch that shelters beneath the frame of our ancient trampoline.
I’m not quite sure why she views it as a holy site. It could be the shape. In the organic gardening world, it seems, circles, mandalas and spirals have some mystical life-giving power that doesn’t flow through your old fashioned rectangular plot. I’m skeptical, but at this stage in our death-match with the brush turkeys I’ll take any advantage I can get. From chook dome to remodelled tramp to recycled children’s bicycle wheels, there are no corners here.
And the Mandala of Aviary Wire does seem to have worked its magic on my brassicas, despite extreme flimsiness. Having been abandoned by the side of the road after a rich and full life getting between bouncing children and broken ankles, the trampoline net is more a spiritual than a physical barrier to aerial raiders, held in place by optimism and zip ties. But to date, my newly planted garlic – positioned, of course, in a protective ring around the broccoli – has remained in the ground and my crop of red mustard and baby bok choi, while small, is perfectly formed.
It’s not looking so good on the broad bean front, despite a lavender and rose geranium mulch that makes the chook dome smell like a seniors’ underpants’ drawer. I’d like to think a benevolent long-nosed bandicoot is squeezing in under the wire to snaffle the curl grubs amongst the asparagus crowns. But I suspect that in reality I’m hosting rodents with keen insights into the politics of eco-nationalism. “When you go in and take the beans, Rupert, make sure you leave a cone-shaped hole. That way the marsupial-loving hippie will never dare leave rat poison out again.” If only I owned an infra-red video camera with a motion sensor I might find out for sure – or at least collect some footage of hirsute visitors for that retro Ocker erotica.